Stop Rehearsing the Problem

Tell the Story or Create a New One?

Have you ever noticed that when you have a problem, you can spend an enormous amount of time rehearsing it?

You tell someone what happened. Then you tell someone else. You think about it in the middle of the night. You imagine what might happen next. You go over the conversation again and again.  And pretty soon, you're giving more energy to the problem than to the solution.

I know this one from experience. I love to talk. I love to share and express myself. And for many years, when something upsetting happened, I had a tendency to report it, to one friend, and then another, and perhaps another.  I'd even say, “I'm not complaining. I'm just explaining!”

But I've learned something important: Sometimes we do need to express what we're feeling. But when we keep telling the story, the story can become a mantra.

I admit this Drama Queen was my biggest sin. Sin is an old archery term meaning missing the mark. For me, continually rehearsing the problem is missing the mark because my attention is pointed toward what I don't want rather than toward what I want to create.

Every time you repeat what he did, what she said, what went wrong, how unfair it was, you are reliving it. You keep giving it your attention, your emotion, and your energy.

There's a wonderful idea often attributed to Einstein: We can't solve a problem from the same level of thinking that created it.

That's a powerful principle of Magnetic Creation.

When something goes wrong, of course you have to deal with it. I'm not suggesting that you ignore problems, suppress your feelings, or pretend everything is wonderful.

But there's a difference between dealing with a problem and living in the problem.

I recently had an experience with Amazon and the publishing of my book. Something mysteriously happened and my book was erased.

For two weeks, I tried to fix it. Four different people told me the problem had been solved. and it hadn't. I was frustrated. I kept trying to understand what had happened and get it corrected.

And I can't say I practiced Magnetic Creation perfectly! I talked about it. I worried about it. I tried again and again to fix it. Finally, I realized: I have to let this go.

I couldn't keep putting my energy into what had gone wrong.

So I stopped trying to make the old solution work. I got a new ISBN and moved forward.

And then I began asking different questions: What is the solution? What do I want now?

And perhaps even more importantly: What is this obstacle teaching me?

Sometimes an obstacle is asking us to persist. Sometimes it's asking us to change direction. Sometimes it's showing us where we're holding on too tightly. And sometimes it's simply asking us to let go.  It was a good decision as even after a week and half more, I received another thanking for my patience as the problem was not fix and needed another 3 to 5 days to solve. 

Magnetic Creation doesn't mean that obstacles never happen. It means we don't have to make the obstacle our dominant reality.

There are times when you need to call a friend and say, “I need to talk about what happened.” Expressing your feelings can be healthy and healing. But notice what happens afterward. Are you releasing the experience or rehearsing it?

Are you telling the story because it helps you move through it, or are you making the story stronger every time you repeat it? At some point, you have to stop telling the old story long enough to begin creating a new one.

So whether you're dealing with a difficult conversation, an unexpected bill, a doctor's appointment, a family problem, or a book that mysteriously disappears from Amazon, notice where you're putting your attention. Are you rehearsing the problem? Or are you becoming available for the solution?

Deal with what needs to be dealt with. Feel what you need to feel. Express what you need to express. And then ask: What do I want instead?

Take whatever practical action is necessary, and bring your attention back to what you want to create. Focus on what you want, not on what you don't want.

Don't let yesterday's problem become today's mantra. Tell a new story. And allow yourself to become available for a new solution.